It was a few months ago that Burger King started a new deal on their nuggets where they would sell ten nuggets for a dollar. Being the shrewd and complex businessman I am, I decided to go out and buy 100 chicken nuggets. It was agreed upon between me and my roommate that we would finish all 100 nuggets in one sitting. Our other roommate said our mission was impossible and that I am no Tom Cruise. I said just watch us. We are unstoppable. He said that if we ate all 100 nuggets we would explode. I said no way. He said way. I said that, if Vince and I could eat all 100 nuggets, we get to rename his annoying cat. He said okay since he had no faith that what we could do was possible. Rolling up to the take-out window and ordering 100 nuggets will, in fact, make the employees quite upset. It took a while for them to prepare the nugs, but also set us up with every sauce they had. From there, we went back to our apartment. We set out all the nuggets on the table and devised a plan of attack to demolish the nuggets one by one. I started the first phase. I knew that it takes your stomach about 20 minutes before it understands that it is full, so I wolfed down around 25 nuggets in about 15 minutes before having to tap out and let Vince take over. He was able to take down about 20 nugs before doubling over.
I started back again, and again and again we weren’t never stopping in our noble quest to rename Elio the Cat. My stomach was burning, and my butt was in danger. It is not healthy or recommended to have more than three burger king nuggets and I had consumed around forty. It would have been cool to have the world record for nugget eating. The rule was that if we puked then we lose, so I took a second to do some deep breathing and my girlfriend gave me some words of encouragement. Sometimes I think this day was the reason she broke up with me and I find it understandable. When the dust settled, and the nuggets consumed, Vince and I ate around 83 nuggets before Vince had to tap out. I was borderline about throw up, so I had to stop too. We had lost. Was it all for nothing? We decided to just start calling the cat a different name anyway since the cat does not really respond to any name, so why should it matter? I now refer to the cat as Ricardo, or Rick the Dick, and it makes my roommate very angry, which gives me joy. The moral of this story is that you should never give and never surrender, even when the odds are stacked against in such a monumental way. Believing you can do something can lead to success and even if you fall short of your goal you can look back and be proud that you have attempted something very few men of valor have dared to try. Life is a ladder that goes on forever and you will never see if it ends if you do not start climbing.
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